IIX. Normalcy; rules, a shirt, desire

I find a release in establishing patterns and breaking them slightly. Otherwise I sink into the trench my prior footsteps have already carved into the dirt. My whole life, it seems, I have wanted to be normal. Who doesn't? We want to fit in, we want to be accepted, we want to be praised, we want that shirt everyone seems to be wearing, we want that shirt to fit the way it seems to fit everyone else, we want our moms to say I notice you trying, and I'm proud of you. We want to look in a mirror and tell ourselves "you are enough," so we let someone else say it for us, yet listen more to the person who disagrees. So what are "we," if not a norm? How far can an experience be collectivized? I seem to see a certain embodiment of this desire. If not, why would I think it attainable?

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